I love the rich lessons in the Old Testament as we watch the children of Israel make their way to the Promised Land. I love how the lessons are stated and restated chapter after chapter. Obviously, the Lord recognized that there would be ones like me that need repeated reminders. One of the themes that He has been bringing forward for me is that my actions do not just effect myself.
Deuteronomy 30:19 says, "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you; that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses - now choose life that you and your children may live."
Deuteronomy 4:37 & 40 says, "The LORD loved your ancestors and decided that you would be His people. So the LORD used His great power to bring you out of Egypt... Today I am explaining His laws and teachings. And if you always obey them, you and your descendants will live long and be successful in the land the LORD is giving you." And in Deuteronomy 5:9-10 "... If you reject me and worship idols, I will punish your families for three or four generations. But if you love me and obey my laws, I will be kind to your families for thousands of generations." Now before we get all puffed up and say that's not fair, take note of the fact that though our idolatry can effect 3 or 4 generations, our obedience passes blessings for thousands!
Deuteronomy 5:28 says, "The LORD heard you and said: Moses, I heard what the people said to you, and I approve. I wish they would always worship me with fear and trembling and be this willing to obey me! Then they and their children would always enjoy a successful life."
So, I guess I see 3 main challenges for me. The first question I need to ask is what am I TEACHING my children? Am I teaching them what it means to love the LORD? Am I teaching them how crucial it is that we have no other gods before Him? Am I teaching them what idolatry looks like in our culture and how to spot it in their own lives? Am I teaching them how to truly worship? Am I teaching them Who God is?
Next, what am I MODELING for my children? Do my actions show that I love the LORD will all my heart, soul, mind and strength? (Mark 12:30) Is it obvious to my children? Is my love for Christ so evident that my children know how precious and vital He is to me or is He my "Sunday" friend? Is God's Word so important to me and the way I live my life that it bears memorizing? Is the LORD so much a part of my moment by moment existence that I talk about Him whether I'm at home or walking along the road or going to bed at night, or getting up in the morning? (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)
Then, the question becomes not only what am I teaching my children but what are my life choices CHOOSING for my children? Hebrews 11:8 remembers Abraham this way. "By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." Deuteronomy 6:10-11 says, "The LORD promised your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob that He would give you this land. Now He will take you there and give you large towns, with good buildings that you didn't build, and houses full of good things that you didn't put there. The LORD will give you wells that you didn't have to dig, and vineyards and olive orchards that you didn't have to plant..." Am I living a life of faith that God is going to bless? Abraham dwelt in the land but the LORD set his descendants free from slavery and brought them out of Egypt to inherit buildings that they didn't have to build and orchards that they didn't have to plant! Oh, LORD, I desire inheritances of freedom and blessing for my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and beyond - and You just invite me to exercise a little faith!
The LORD my God will help me take the land where the enemy of my soul has erected strongholds! Pride, gluttony, insecurity, unbelief... He just asks that I cooperate with Him and don't settle for the heavy yoke of these things to be lifted when He desires for me to be completely free. He doesn't want me to make peace treaties with these enemies and He doesn't want me to stand by idle and allow my children to embrace them! (see Deuteronomy 7:1-3) Does the LORD ask me for perfection? No. Psalm 103:13-14 says, "As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust." The LORD just asks us to trust Him. I am so grateful for those in my family, who have gone before me, that have walked not perfectly but faithfully with the LORD. I am reaping harvests that I didn't plant.
So what about you? What kind of choices lay before you today? Will you endeavor to trust the LORD and exercise a little faith? Will you sow seeds of blessing for a future generation to harvest? With God's wisdom and in His power, you CAN! I leave you to listen to the LORD Himself and allow Him to remind you...
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=deuteronomy%2011:1-28&version=CEV
Friday, May 14, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
The Path to the Promised Land
So, in my journey from the bondage where I've come from to the full inheritance and security of trusting God and God alone, the Lord listed out these steps for me to follow from Deuteronomy 3 & 4.
Remember the Truth! "You saw how the LORD our God helped us destroy King Sihon and King Og [the enemies opposing us]. So don't be afraid! Wherever you go, the LORD will fight on your side and help you destroy your enemies." (Deuteronomy 3:21-22)
Help one another be strong and brave! "Joshua will lead Israel across the Jordan to take the land, so help him be strong and brave..." (Deuteronomy 3:28) Take a look around you. Who is taking this journey with you? We all need encouragers along the way. Help them be strong and brave. Remind them of the strength of our Almighty God.
Listen to the LORD and obey Him! "Listen to these laws and teachings! If you obey them, you will live [truly live!] and you will go in and take the land that the LORD is giving you." (Deuteronomy 4:1)
Remember that the LORD is giving you the land! It's His to give. Take it!
Pray - He answers! "We have a God who is close to us and answers our prayers." Friend, I don't know about you but as the weight of that Truth just settled over me, tears involuntarily flowed from my eyes! He - the God who created the universe with His words - is close to us! He's closer than our next breath and He answers our prayers. Is that not reason to pray? We're told that we have not because we ask not. (see James 4:2) Do you need direction? Ask Him. Do you need courage? Tell Him. "Oh, what peace we often forfeit. Oh, what needless pain we bear. All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer." ("What a Friend We Have in Jesus", Joseph M. Scriven)
Keep reminding yourself what God has done for you and testify to others - especially your children... "You must be very careful not to forget the things you have seen God do for you. Keep reminding yourselves, and tell your children and grandchildren as well." Take the Lord at His word and do this - literally! Write them down. Psalm 78 talks about the importance of writing down the praiseworthy deeds of our God. It's important for us AND it holds great blessing for the generations that follow after us "so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God." (Psalm 78:6-7a) Not only can we dwell in the Promised Land for ourselves but we can leave a legacy for those that aren't even born yet! How gracious is our God!
Teach your children to obey God... "teach their children to obey me too." (vs. 10b) One thing that the Lord has really been teaching me lately is that I learn His lessons better as I teach them to others. The more that I talk about them and study them, the more that they take root in me. "Memorize His laws..." that really should be a point all of it's own on this pathway to the land of promise! "... and tell them to your children over and over again. Talk about them all the time, whether you're at home or walking along the road or going to bed at night, or getting up in the morning. Write down copies and them to your wrists and foreheads to help you obey them." (Deuteronomy 6:6-8) Again, take Him at His word. I have a couple of pieces of jewelry with scripture on them. I wear them on those days that I know that I need Truth within eyesight. My daughter knows what they say and why I pull them out. She knows because the Lord has prompted me to teach her. I pray that these things are priceless to her when she inherits them.
NO IDOLS! "be careful not to commit the sin of worshiping idols." (vs. 15) Friend, I wish that this were an easy command. We are deceived if we see idols as merely wooden or stone replicas of some ancient god. Whatever we choose to worship - other than God alone - is an idol. I've served a number of them. Self... materialism... problems... others... food... if we are bowing down to anyone or anything else but God we are in error and God's blessing is not on us. Can money buy you happiness? Can another individual meet your every need? These things can not be god. They cannot save you. Seek first the Lord and His righteousness and He'll look after these things (see Matthew 6:33)
Oh, LORD. You know that I am but dust and yet I am precious in Your sight. I desire to dwell - permanently - in Your land of promise for me. You have redeemed me out of bondage into freedom and joy. May I receive the full inheritance that You hold for me. I'm resting on the promise that Your grace is sufficient for me. Your power is made perfect in my weakness. What You are commanding me this day is not too difficult for me or beyond my reach. Lead on, O God! I choose to worship You and You alone. In the precious and all-powerful Name of Jesus - let it be done!
Remember the Truth! "You saw how the LORD our God helped us destroy King Sihon and King Og [the enemies opposing us]. So don't be afraid! Wherever you go, the LORD will fight on your side and help you destroy your enemies." (Deuteronomy 3:21-22)
Help one another be strong and brave! "Joshua will lead Israel across the Jordan to take the land, so help him be strong and brave..." (Deuteronomy 3:28) Take a look around you. Who is taking this journey with you? We all need encouragers along the way. Help them be strong and brave. Remind them of the strength of our Almighty God.
Listen to the LORD and obey Him! "Listen to these laws and teachings! If you obey them, you will live [truly live!] and you will go in and take the land that the LORD is giving you." (Deuteronomy 4:1)
Remember that the LORD is giving you the land! It's His to give. Take it!
Pray - He answers! "We have a God who is close to us and answers our prayers." Friend, I don't know about you but as the weight of that Truth just settled over me, tears involuntarily flowed from my eyes! He - the God who created the universe with His words - is close to us! He's closer than our next breath and He answers our prayers. Is that not reason to pray? We're told that we have not because we ask not. (see James 4:2) Do you need direction? Ask Him. Do you need courage? Tell Him. "Oh, what peace we often forfeit. Oh, what needless pain we bear. All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer." ("What a Friend We Have in Jesus", Joseph M. Scriven)
Keep reminding yourself what God has done for you and testify to others - especially your children... "You must be very careful not to forget the things you have seen God do for you. Keep reminding yourselves, and tell your children and grandchildren as well." Take the Lord at His word and do this - literally! Write them down. Psalm 78 talks about the importance of writing down the praiseworthy deeds of our God. It's important for us AND it holds great blessing for the generations that follow after us "so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God." (Psalm 78:6-7a) Not only can we dwell in the Promised Land for ourselves but we can leave a legacy for those that aren't even born yet! How gracious is our God!
Teach your children to obey God... "teach their children to obey me too." (vs. 10b) One thing that the Lord has really been teaching me lately is that I learn His lessons better as I teach them to others. The more that I talk about them and study them, the more that they take root in me. "Memorize His laws..." that really should be a point all of it's own on this pathway to the land of promise! "... and tell them to your children over and over again. Talk about them all the time, whether you're at home or walking along the road or going to bed at night, or getting up in the morning. Write down copies and them to your wrists and foreheads to help you obey them." (Deuteronomy 6:6-8) Again, take Him at His word. I have a couple of pieces of jewelry with scripture on them. I wear them on those days that I know that I need Truth within eyesight. My daughter knows what they say and why I pull them out. She knows because the Lord has prompted me to teach her. I pray that these things are priceless to her when she inherits them.
NO IDOLS! "be careful not to commit the sin of worshiping idols." (vs. 15) Friend, I wish that this were an easy command. We are deceived if we see idols as merely wooden or stone replicas of some ancient god. Whatever we choose to worship - other than God alone - is an idol. I've served a number of them. Self... materialism... problems... others... food... if we are bowing down to anyone or anything else but God we are in error and God's blessing is not on us. Can money buy you happiness? Can another individual meet your every need? These things can not be god. They cannot save you. Seek first the Lord and His righteousness and He'll look after these things (see Matthew 6:33)
Oh, LORD. You know that I am but dust and yet I am precious in Your sight. I desire to dwell - permanently - in Your land of promise for me. You have redeemed me out of bondage into freedom and joy. May I receive the full inheritance that You hold for me. I'm resting on the promise that Your grace is sufficient for me. Your power is made perfect in my weakness. What You are commanding me this day is not too difficult for me or beyond my reach. Lead on, O God! I choose to worship You and You alone. In the precious and all-powerful Name of Jesus - let it be done!
More About Naysayers...
I am absolutely in awe of how faithful the Lord is to speak to the very heart of our circumstances! In this journey that He is leading me on to walk by faith and not according to feelings, I find myself wandering in the wilderness somewhere inbetween being freed from absolute bondage to other people's opinion of me and the promised land where the opinions of others holds zero sway over me. The Lord has revealed that I was victim to a stronghold of insecurity and also some of the roots of that stronghold that was planted long ago.
As I have been trying to apply the lesson on naysayers that He gave me a few weeks ago, He has allowed me significant opportunity to practice! During a quiet time this week, the Lord brought me to Deuteronomy 1 and the following scriptures revealed a precious reminder of how the Lord expects me to respond to those who are critical of me as I seek to follow through on what I sense the Lord has laid upon my heart to do.
Once again, we revisit the Israelite spies that surveyed Canaan...
Moses told Israel, "We have reached the hill country. It belongs to the Amorites now, but the LORD our God is giving it to us... He has told us to go in and take this land, so don't hesitate and be afraid." Then all of you came to me and said, "Before we go into this land, let's send some men to explore it. When they come back, they can tell us about the towns we will find and what roads we should take to get there." (vs. 20-22)
The very act of sending in the 12 spies was a step of doubt! God had said "go" and "don't hesitate" and yet the Israelites wanted to hear their fellow man's opinion first. How often do I fall prey to that exact mentality! There are some very specific things that I know the Lord has called me to do and yet in the midst of my insecurities, I hesitate and seek out man's opinion to help alleviate the fear rather than simply trust what the Lord has said.
Praise the Lord that we have a very gracious Heavenly Father! Even though the Israelites were already going against His direction, He still provided a confirmation of His Word through Caleb and Joshua but notice that they were in the minority. Perhaps you find yourself exactly there - remember that even a minority + God's say so = fear not and get going in obedience! Yet, what did they do?
They hid out from the challenge! They "refused to obey the LORD" their God and "stayed in their tents." (vs. 26)
They "grumbled" and gave voice to their fear! (vs. 26, 28) Are you seeing the reminder of our previous lesson from Numbers 14?
They questioned God! "The LORD must hate us - He brought us out of Egypt, just so He could hand us over to the Amorites and get rid of us." Is anyone other than me feeling a healthy dose of conviction?
They listened to the naysaysers and the circumstances became exaggerated! "the men who explored the land told us that the cities are large with walls that reach to the sky." (vs. 28)
They convinced themselves that the obedience was impossible! "We have nowhere to go." (vs. 28) Friends, when are we - when am I - going to quit listening to the lies and start standing AND ADVANCING on the Truth of God?
The Truth is: "Don't worry! The LORD our God will lead the way. He will fight on our side, just as He did when we saw Him do all those things to the Egyptians. And you know that the LORD has taken care of us the whole time we've been in the desert, just as you might carry one of your children." Praise God! What awesome words of assurance! What has He been telling you to trust Him and do? He knows it looks difficult to us. He knows we may even "feel" it's impossible! That doesn't matter. Be strong and courageous! TAKE courage! Quit hesitating and listening to the naysayers and get going! I am preaching this to myself at the top of my lungs. I am weary of wilderness wandering in this area and I am choosing - here and now - to follow His direction right through the flood waters of the Jordan River and plant them on some promised land!
Don't think that I'm saying it's going to be a cake walk. We see from scripture that there are going to be enemies all over our promised land but let's trust the LORD when He says that "the LORD our God is giving it [the land] to us." (vs. 20) We're bound to lose some skirmishes along the way but I can assure you the victory has already been won. The thing is, we'll wander forever if we don't take the Lord at His word and get going along the path where He's leading. With His help, we will "conquer it and live there." (vs. 39b)
What do you say? Are you coming with me?
As I have been trying to apply the lesson on naysayers that He gave me a few weeks ago, He has allowed me significant opportunity to practice! During a quiet time this week, the Lord brought me to Deuteronomy 1 and the following scriptures revealed a precious reminder of how the Lord expects me to respond to those who are critical of me as I seek to follow through on what I sense the Lord has laid upon my heart to do.
Once again, we revisit the Israelite spies that surveyed Canaan...
Moses told Israel, "We have reached the hill country. It belongs to the Amorites now, but the LORD our God is giving it to us... He has told us to go in and take this land, so don't hesitate and be afraid." Then all of you came to me and said, "Before we go into this land, let's send some men to explore it. When they come back, they can tell us about the towns we will find and what roads we should take to get there." (vs. 20-22)
The very act of sending in the 12 spies was a step of doubt! God had said "go" and "don't hesitate" and yet the Israelites wanted to hear their fellow man's opinion first. How often do I fall prey to that exact mentality! There are some very specific things that I know the Lord has called me to do and yet in the midst of my insecurities, I hesitate and seek out man's opinion to help alleviate the fear rather than simply trust what the Lord has said.
Praise the Lord that we have a very gracious Heavenly Father! Even though the Israelites were already going against His direction, He still provided a confirmation of His Word through Caleb and Joshua but notice that they were in the minority. Perhaps you find yourself exactly there - remember that even a minority + God's say so = fear not and get going in obedience! Yet, what did they do?
They hid out from the challenge! They "refused to obey the LORD" their God and "stayed in their tents." (vs. 26)
They "grumbled" and gave voice to their fear! (vs. 26, 28) Are you seeing the reminder of our previous lesson from Numbers 14?
They questioned God! "The LORD must hate us - He brought us out of Egypt, just so He could hand us over to the Amorites and get rid of us." Is anyone other than me feeling a healthy dose of conviction?
They listened to the naysaysers and the circumstances became exaggerated! "the men who explored the land told us that the cities are large with walls that reach to the sky." (vs. 28)
They convinced themselves that the obedience was impossible! "We have nowhere to go." (vs. 28) Friends, when are we - when am I - going to quit listening to the lies and start standing AND ADVANCING on the Truth of God?
The Truth is: "Don't worry! The LORD our God will lead the way. He will fight on our side, just as He did when we saw Him do all those things to the Egyptians. And you know that the LORD has taken care of us the whole time we've been in the desert, just as you might carry one of your children." Praise God! What awesome words of assurance! What has He been telling you to trust Him and do? He knows it looks difficult to us. He knows we may even "feel" it's impossible! That doesn't matter. Be strong and courageous! TAKE courage! Quit hesitating and listening to the naysayers and get going! I am preaching this to myself at the top of my lungs. I am weary of wilderness wandering in this area and I am choosing - here and now - to follow His direction right through the flood waters of the Jordan River and plant them on some promised land!
Don't think that I'm saying it's going to be a cake walk. We see from scripture that there are going to be enemies all over our promised land but let's trust the LORD when He says that "the LORD our God is giving it [the land] to us." (vs. 20) We're bound to lose some skirmishes along the way but I can assure you the victory has already been won. The thing is, we'll wander forever if we don't take the Lord at His word and get going along the path where He's leading. With His help, we will "conquer it and live there." (vs. 39b)
What do you say? Are you coming with me?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
What's Your Response to the Naysayers?
Isn't it just like our Lord that this morning's Bible reading spoke directly to the need of my heart?! Look at what the Lord spoke in Numbers 14...
After the Israelites heard the report from the twelve men who had explored Canaan, the people cried all night and complained to Moses and Aaron, "We wish we had died in Egypt or somewhere out here in the desert! Is the LORD leading us into Canaan, just to have us killed and our women and children captured? We'd be better off in Egypt." Then they said to one another, "Let's choose our own leader and go back."
Moses and Aaron bowed down to pray in front of the crowd. Joshua and Caleb tore their clothes in sorrow and said: "We saw the land ourselves, and it's very good. If we obey the LORD, he will surely give us that land rich with milk and honey. So don't rebel. We have no reason to be afraid of the people who live there. The LORD is on our side, and they won't stand a chance against us!"
The crowd threatened to stone Moses and Aaron to death. But just then, the LORD appeared in a cloud at the sacred tent.
The LORD said to Moses, "I have done great things for these people, and they still reject me by refusing to believe in my power..."
What a word to us when naysayers threaten our commitment or belief in the promises of God! Look at the tide we can quickly get caught up in...
No matter how threatening the pressure is, remember that at just the right moment the LORD appeared! Just like for me this morning, the LORD appears and reaches down His righteous right arm and saves us!
"The LORD said to Moses, 'I have done great things for these people, and they still reject me by refusing to believe in my power." We have the opportunity to follow the example of the psalmist Asaph in Psalm 77, when despite the emotions that raged in verses 1-10, he makes this choice in verse 11, "Our LORD, I will remember the things you have done, your miracles of long ago. I will think about each one of your mighty deeds. Everything you do is right and no other god compares with you."
Where has the LORD asked you to go that is looking too difficult today? What has He said to you to be strong and courageous about? "Now what He is commanding you this day is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach." (Deuteronomy 30:11) Believe Him! His arm is not too short "for nothing is impossible with God." (Luke 1:37) In fact, Jesus said, "everything is possible for him who believes." (Mark 9:23) Make your choice! Grab hold of His extended arm, hold fast and believe!
After the Israelites heard the report from the twelve men who had explored Canaan, the people cried all night and complained to Moses and Aaron, "We wish we had died in Egypt or somewhere out here in the desert! Is the LORD leading us into Canaan, just to have us killed and our women and children captured? We'd be better off in Egypt." Then they said to one another, "Let's choose our own leader and go back."
Moses and Aaron bowed down to pray in front of the crowd. Joshua and Caleb tore their clothes in sorrow and said: "We saw the land ourselves, and it's very good. If we obey the LORD, he will surely give us that land rich with milk and honey. So don't rebel. We have no reason to be afraid of the people who live there. The LORD is on our side, and they won't stand a chance against us!"
The crowd threatened to stone Moses and Aaron to death. But just then, the LORD appeared in a cloud at the sacred tent.
The LORD said to Moses, "I have done great things for these people, and they still reject me by refusing to believe in my power..."
What a word to us when naysayers threaten our commitment or belief in the promises of God! Look at the tide we can quickly get caught up in...
- They got swept up in emotion rather than standing on the Truth... "the people cried all night."
- They gave a voice to the emotion rather than the Truth... "and complained to Moses and Aaron."
- They imagined themselves elsewhere... "we wish we had died in Egypt."
- They questioned the LORD... "Is the LORD leading us into Canaan, just to have us killed...?"
- They came to their own conclusion... "We'd be better off in Egypt."
- They decided to make their own choice... "Let's choose our own leader and go back."
- They found themselves in REBELLION! Sylvia Gunter defines rebellion as "reserving for ourselves the right to choose."
No matter how threatening the pressure is, remember that at just the right moment the LORD appeared! Just like for me this morning, the LORD appears and reaches down His righteous right arm and saves us!
"The LORD said to Moses, 'I have done great things for these people, and they still reject me by refusing to believe in my power." We have the opportunity to follow the example of the psalmist Asaph in Psalm 77, when despite the emotions that raged in verses 1-10, he makes this choice in verse 11, "Our LORD, I will remember the things you have done, your miracles of long ago. I will think about each one of your mighty deeds. Everything you do is right and no other god compares with you."
Where has the LORD asked you to go that is looking too difficult today? What has He said to you to be strong and courageous about? "Now what He is commanding you this day is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach." (Deuteronomy 30:11) Believe Him! His arm is not too short "for nothing is impossible with God." (Luke 1:37) In fact, Jesus said, "everything is possible for him who believes." (Mark 9:23) Make your choice! Grab hold of His extended arm, hold fast and believe!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
A Renewed Way of Thinking
I am so glad that our Lord renews our thoughts! Man, can they ever get off-base sometimes and in desperate need of renewal! Such was the case with me this morning.
Actually, this particular line of thought has been brewing for awhile but I've remained in the dark. Allow me to explain...
This much I had come to realize over the past year:
Isaiah 43:18-19 Do not earnestly remember the former things...like the sins and failures of yesterday...behold, He is doing a new thing! It's a new day and He's not limited by my yesterday.
Like Lazerus, I was dead, but now He's calling me to life and I need to take off the old grave clothes (the shame and condemnation of yesterday) and lay them at His feet. They are a filthy reminder of the former things.
Isaiah 43:25 I, even I, am He who blots our and cancels your transgressions...even my willful sins...for My own sake... so don't worry about deserving it, Karrie... and I will not remember [mark for recognition, recount, call to remembrance] your sins. Wheww!! Awesome!
So, if God is willing and ready to forgive me and blot out all record of my transgressions, why aren't I?
Psalm 40:6 Sacrifices and offerings are not what please you; gifts and payent for sin are not what you demand... so may I not spend today trying to "make up for" yesterday before the Lord. That sort of thinking keeps me looking at the former things. It also keeps me trapped in "works" - trying to earn off yesterday instead of by "grace" alone... But You made me willing to listen and obey. And so, I said, "I am here to do what is written about me in the book, where it says, 'I enjoy pleasing you. Your Law is in my heart.'" He is the One who brought me to this revelation this morning. May I start fresh - forgiving myself for what He has forgiven - and say instead "I'm here to do what is written about me in the book! May I enjoy pleasing You this day!" This train of thought keeps me looking forward.
Psalm 40:11 You, LORD, never fail to have pity on me... WHEN I fail today - even willfully - He never fails to have pity on me... Your love and faithfulness ALWAYS KEEP ME SECURE! (emphasis mine) Well, praise the Lord! This revelation is a giant leap on the way to freedom from insecurity!
The real difference with this right thinking (Truth) is that it makes it so that I begin this day from a position of victory. The enemy tried his best on me yet I stand here FORGIVEN! The devil might have tempted me and I might have followed but he only won a skirmish - Christ won the war! And though I may lose to his temptations at times today, I am still victorious because I will get up in faith and try again. God gives me that privilege. May I cease to let the enemy rob me of the forgiveness that is freely offered me and the resulting position of victory. Praise You, O God!
Psalm 18:3-4 I will call upon the Lord, who is to be praised; so shall I be saved from my enemies. the cords of death surrounded me, and the streams of ungodliness and the torrents of ruin terrified me... Lord, I was so afraid to make a mistake - afraid to fail... ruin terrified me! But God - You have rescued me!
1 Peter 2:24 He personally bore our sins in His own body on the tree... that we might die (cease to exist) to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed...I can cease to exist to sin - looking back - living in the shame of past defeat and LIVE to righteousness - from the place of grace, forgiveness and victory!
For He has not given me a spirit of fear or timidity but of power, love and self-discipline! 2 Timothy 1:7. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Philippians 4:19.
I'll shout it from the mountain tops and sing a new song! It's awesome to be free!
Actually, this particular line of thought has been brewing for awhile but I've remained in the dark. Allow me to explain...
This much I had come to realize over the past year:
- I have a fear of failure.
- I fear that the REAL me is not enough - enough to be a worship leader, enough to hold my husband's passion, enough to raise godly children.
- I have a stronghold of insecurity (and it has a stronghold of me)
- I often wake in the morning feeling defeated because of the sins of yesterday.
Isaiah 43:18-19 Do not earnestly remember the former things...like the sins and failures of yesterday...behold, He is doing a new thing! It's a new day and He's not limited by my yesterday.
Like Lazerus, I was dead, but now He's calling me to life and I need to take off the old grave clothes (the shame and condemnation of yesterday) and lay them at His feet. They are a filthy reminder of the former things.
Isaiah 43:25 I, even I, am He who blots our and cancels your transgressions...even my willful sins...for My own sake... so don't worry about deserving it, Karrie... and I will not remember [mark for recognition, recount, call to remembrance] your sins. Wheww!! Awesome!
So, if God is willing and ready to forgive me and blot out all record of my transgressions, why aren't I?
Psalm 40:6 Sacrifices and offerings are not what please you; gifts and payent for sin are not what you demand... so may I not spend today trying to "make up for" yesterday before the Lord. That sort of thinking keeps me looking at the former things. It also keeps me trapped in "works" - trying to earn off yesterday instead of by "grace" alone... But You made me willing to listen and obey. And so, I said, "I am here to do what is written about me in the book, where it says, 'I enjoy pleasing you. Your Law is in my heart.'" He is the One who brought me to this revelation this morning. May I start fresh - forgiving myself for what He has forgiven - and say instead "I'm here to do what is written about me in the book! May I enjoy pleasing You this day!" This train of thought keeps me looking forward.
Psalm 40:11 You, LORD, never fail to have pity on me... WHEN I fail today - even willfully - He never fails to have pity on me... Your love and faithfulness ALWAYS KEEP ME SECURE! (emphasis mine) Well, praise the Lord! This revelation is a giant leap on the way to freedom from insecurity!
The real difference with this right thinking (Truth) is that it makes it so that I begin this day from a position of victory. The enemy tried his best on me yet I stand here FORGIVEN! The devil might have tempted me and I might have followed but he only won a skirmish - Christ won the war! And though I may lose to his temptations at times today, I am still victorious because I will get up in faith and try again. God gives me that privilege. May I cease to let the enemy rob me of the forgiveness that is freely offered me and the resulting position of victory. Praise You, O God!
Psalm 18:3-4 I will call upon the Lord, who is to be praised; so shall I be saved from my enemies. the cords of death surrounded me, and the streams of ungodliness and the torrents of ruin terrified me... Lord, I was so afraid to make a mistake - afraid to fail... ruin terrified me! But God - You have rescued me!
1 Peter 2:24 He personally bore our sins in His own body on the tree... that we might die (cease to exist) to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed...I can cease to exist to sin - looking back - living in the shame of past defeat and LIVE to righteousness - from the place of grace, forgiveness and victory!
For He has not given me a spirit of fear or timidity but of power, love and self-discipline! 2 Timothy 1:7. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Philippians 4:19.
I'll shout it from the mountain tops and sing a new song! It's awesome to be free!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Things To Do As You Wait On a Miracle in Your Marriage
This entry may seem out of context - I was so sure that I had posted it earlier along with "Becoming a Woman of Valor" in August of 2009 - but I hadn't so I'm posting it now...
Pray Less For Your Husband and More For Yourself - This may sound totally selfish and inappropriate but sometimes, when a relationship is strained, it's difficult to pray for your spouse without giving the Lord a long prescription of everything that you'd like to see changed in your spouse. Praying for your spouse can easily become a complaining session with the Lord and since the Lord knows better than us what is going on and what needs to be done, prayer sessions like that serve only to discourage us and remind us of everything that is frustrating or hurtful.
In a great little book "Get the Junk Out of Your Trunk: Let Go of the Past to Live Your Best Life" (by Duane VanderKlok) I learned that when we need to forgive someone who has hurt us, we need to pray blessing over their lives - with NO prescription! When we are praying blessing and not telling the Lord how He should do it, we are brought to the point of forgiveness and wanting to see good things happen in their lives rather than retribution.
Prayer is something everyone says and even assumes but we do entirely too little of it and even less of it effectively. God's Word is sharper than any double-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12). Praying His Word, convicts us where we've fallen short. When we come into agreement with what He says and repent, it accomplishes His purposes within us (Isaiah 55:11). Our lives (and marriages) will be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2).
Some great scriptures to pray daily for yourself are:
Pray Less For Your Husband and More For Yourself - This may sound totally selfish and inappropriate but sometimes, when a relationship is strained, it's difficult to pray for your spouse without giving the Lord a long prescription of everything that you'd like to see changed in your spouse. Praying for your spouse can easily become a complaining session with the Lord and since the Lord knows better than us what is going on and what needs to be done, prayer sessions like that serve only to discourage us and remind us of everything that is frustrating or hurtful.
In a great little book "Get the Junk Out of Your Trunk: Let Go of the Past to Live Your Best Life" (by Duane VanderKlok) I learned that when we need to forgive someone who has hurt us, we need to pray blessing over their lives - with NO prescription! When we are praying blessing and not telling the Lord how He should do it, we are brought to the point of forgiveness and wanting to see good things happen in their lives rather than retribution.
Prayer is something everyone says and even assumes but we do entirely too little of it and even less of it effectively. God's Word is sharper than any double-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12). Praying His Word, convicts us where we've fallen short. When we come into agreement with what He says and repent, it accomplishes His purposes within us (Isaiah 55:11). Our lives (and marriages) will be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2).
Some great scriptures to pray daily for yourself are:
- 1 Corinthians 13:1-7, 12-13
- 1 Peter 2:18-25 (like the term or not, as married women, we are "household servants" and we are the only one in our home with that job description)
- 1 Peter 3:1-6, 8-9
- Proverbs 16:24
See http://www.biblegateway.com/ for quick reference to the scriptures listed here. Try the Amplified Bible translation. It puts some teeth to some of the words that were either too familiar or vague. I prayed these daily for many months. The words became ingrained in my mind and the Holy Spirit would call them to mind - often - when I would be tempted to insist on my own rights or add something to a mental tally sheet of what my husband was doing "wrong" (1 Corinthians 13:5).
I printed my prayers out on recipe cards and I keep them in a photo album that fits into my purse. I recorded audios of them and put them on my I-pod. Keep them handy and commit to doing what they say. It's not enough to just read them or highlight them and visit them occasionally. You must do what it says (James 1:22).
Everyone Needs a Day 17 - Ruth Myers, in her book "31 Days of Praise" has written an awesome scripture prayer about being thankful for the place in life that we are currently in. The whole book is about praising the Lord when things are difficult. It's put out by Multnomah and is worth purchasing for anyone - crisis or not!
Surround Yourself with Positive Accountability Partners and Prayer Warriors - If you are like me, it is easy to see the negative side of situations. You need people who will help you to see the positives. I needed someone who would stop me in mid-conversation if I was about to rant and complain about my husband. My friend would simply say, "have you taken this to the Throne?" or "have you tattled to Jesus?" Your friends and family don't need to know all of the details. Whatever you spend the most time concentrating on is what is going to grow bigger. Surround yourself with friends that will say, "remember when..." and remind you of those good things that your husband has done. You may need to make a list. It makes it easier to remember when you aren't seeing those qualities in the moment! If your friends aren't currently operating in this way - ask them to! Tell them that it is what you need from them. It really is what you need from them. A word of caution - your accountability partners MUST NOT be of the opposite sex! That's never appropriate and can lead down paths of destruction.
Make an 80/20 List - or a 60/40! Make a list of things that attracted you to your husband in the first place. Make a list of good qualities that he has exhibited. Everyone has them. In fact, I believe we do have more good qualities than bad. It's just easier to see the things we wish were different. Keep the list handy! Mine is in the back of my Bible and I purposely added to it whenever something would come to mind. Review the list often and thank the Lord for each quality.
Make Some Things Right, Seek Forgiveness - Perhaps your parents didn't bless your marriage or you were engaging in pre-marital sex. Seek forgiveness. You can seek forgiveness for not honoring your parents or seek forgiveness from your husband for not waiting to have sex with the Lord's blessing. These things are not easy nor do many people think they are necessary but once they've been dealt with Biblically, when the enemy throws out lies like "you should have listened to your mother" you can standon the Truth of no condemnation!
Learn the Lesson "But if Not..." - I have found that in every major lesson/life change that the Lord has taken me through there has come a point where I had to come to grips with the fact "but if not..." I'm still going to choose to follow the Lord in obedience. When I struggled with infertility and that the Lord was robbing me of a blessing, I had to come to the point where if He never gave me children, He was still Good. When my father was dying of cancer, if the Lord never healed him, He was still Good. If your husband never changes, God is still Good and it is the right thing to walk out your life in obedience. The other thing that I've found is that God is so gracious and generous!! He rewards our feeble steps in His direction!
My grandfather always used to say that if the Lord never did anything else for him but save his soul, it was worth serving Him forever. It's the truth!
Become Your Husband's Cheerleader - I'm confident that somewhere inside every man is a doubt or anxiety of "can I really do this?" Be a good husband? Provide for a family? Be a good lover? Become his cheerleader. Make a conscious point of looking for things that you can praise him for. I understand that at first, it may take some looking. We are in the habit of seeing the bad. Genuinely thank him for every good thnig you see. Tell him that he's doing a good job of... I have been stunned by how much my husband has appreciated this. These are pleasant words that are sweet to the soul and bring healing to his bones like Proverbs 16:24 talks about.
Allow Yourself to Be Dependant on Your Husband - Depending on how badly you've been hurt, this can be very difficult. Even if you've never said it consciously, our tendency is to build walls so that we won't be hurt again. 1 Peter 3:1 tells us to "be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them]..." Chances are you rebel against things that you would consider bad decisions on their part. The enemy tells us not to let ourselves "go down" with that sinking ship. A friend of mine taught me to say, "whatever you think is best, dear." Rather than argue your side, if, after simply and calmly stating your opinion, you are of differing minds, winsomely say "whatever your think is best." Be mindful not to be patronizing. Your husband will know the difference.
It is safe for you to submit to your husband even if you are positive that he is making the wrong decision because Jesus is the Lord of lords. You are not responsible for your husband's decision but you are responsible for your response to him. That same wise friend reminded me that submission is difficult and it goes against everything that the world (and our unbelieving friends) tell us but it is richly rewarded by our Heavenly Father. It is even safe for you to submit to an unbelieving husband or one that is not walking with the Lord as long as what he asks of you is not immoral or illegal. That same verse in 1 Peter 3 continues to say "so that even if any (husbands) do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives." I had to quit preaching and arguing my point and start living out my role as God intended.
We are to live as godly wives in "like manner" to how Jesus conducted Himself. "When He was reviled and insulted, He did not revile or offer insult in return; [when] He was abused and suffered, He made no threats [of vengeance]; but He trusted [Himself and everything] to Him who judges fairly." (1 Peter 2:23) Trust yourself to the One Who is faithful!
"Play the Tapes to the End" - It often looks much greener on the other side of the fence. Don't allow yourself to look through rose colored glasses. If you're struggling with the desire to leave your husband, take a long, hard look at what that really looks like. The enemy is the master of lies. Would life really be easier? Are you sure that you really want to be single? What do children of divorced parents really feel? Are you so sure that your marriage is the one thing that is impossible for God?
Can You Stay for Today? - Spending your time looking at the next 5 years or the rest of your life in a difficult marriage can make you run the other way. The Lord tells us not to worry about tomorrow because it has enough worries of its own. He wants us to live in today. Tomorrow is filled with what if's. These things are not true yet and chances are they will never become reality. As you sit with the Lord and listen to His leading for the day, ask yourself, by the grace of God can you stay and do the right thing for today... Deuteronomy 30:11 says, "Now what I am commanding today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach." You are not trapped. You can always choose differently tomorrow though I am confident that the Lord will amaze you with His grace as you choose obedience today.
Don't Let Anything Keep You From Quiet Time with the Lord - There is no way to live as a godly wife apart from the Lord. You need to hear how deeply He loves you. You need to express your love for Him. You need His Wisdom. You need His Counselor. You need everything that He's got and willingly extending to you. He IS your peace. He is your Shield. He is the Truth and the Way. He's freedom and He's your Deliverer! Occasional moments grabbed throughout the day will never reveal the God that you need to know. He is your very life! Large chunks of devoted time early in the morning are your recharging. Take the Lord at His Word. "Those that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings as eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:11). "Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice." (Isaiah 41:10)
If you have little children, get up earlier than them. I know of a woman who had her quiet time in the middle of the night and then went back to bed. Yes, rest is important but the Lord will supply all of your needs, even rest, when we put Him first in all things. Try Him. Let Him prove it to you.
Ensure that you are reading God's Word and not just about God's Word. There are many useful tools and resources out there but they need to be supplements to a healthy diet of the Word of God. Ask Him to "open your eyes to see wondrous things in His law." He will not disappoint you!
The Lord knows that what He asks of us is not always easy. Sometimes, it may feel like it's never easy but He is the Rewarder of those who earnestly seek Him. I can testify to a God who is WAY bigger than I ever knew - and I'm just seeing the tip of the iceberg! I can tell you that I have come to know the Creator God for He created love where there was none left. He truly healed my broken heart and has made beauty where there was only ashes. For that I am eternally grateful!
NOTE TO READER: Why am I so passionate about this? Because I am living a miracle! I had given up but God hadn't! I thought that fighting and dissension was what I could expect the rest of my life. When I thought I couldn't stay for another day, God asked, can you stay for today? Now, just three years later, my huband has a new wife - and it's me! And God gave me a wonderful husband! He's my friend and I love him dearly! God is making a mighty man of God right before my very eyes! The God I've come to know is WAY bigger than I ever dreamed! And tucked away in my drawer is a reminder of where we've come from... a tear-stained piece of paper on which I wrote the words of God in 1 Peter 2:18-3:9 though I didn't believe them possible. Friend, He can do it for YOU!
I'm also making the assumption that you know what it means to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Rules and religion are not the answer. Only Jesus is. To find out more, click on "Where Do You Go When You're Hurting?" (August 2007) or click here http://spaciousplace-karrie.blogspot.com/2007/08/where-do-you-go-when-youre-hurting.html
So Long, Insecurity!
Okay - first I must confess that though this title declares the cry of my heart, it is not MY title. So Long, Insecurity is the title of Beth Moore's latest book. Although Beth is one of my favorite authors and I am so grateful for her, I am more interested in bragging on my Jesus this morning. Allow me to paint a picture for you of His profound faithfulness and guidance in my life...
I have struggled with certain fears for as long as I can remember. Last year at this time, I thought my most prominent fear was the fear of failure but during a worship service, while in the middle of lifting praises to God, the Lord pulled back the veil and showed me that this was just a side-effect of my deepest fear... That the real me wasn't enough! I was dreadfully afraid that the real me wasn't enough to lead a congregation of God's people in worship... that the real me wasn't enough to hold my husband's passion... that the real me wasn't enough to raise godly children... And so, I found myself exhausted from all of the running around trying to be "super me" and live up to the unattainable expectation I had placed on myself - perfection! After all, there was nothing more that could be done beyond perfection. Wheww! No wonder I feared failure. It happened all of the time!
If I could categorize this last 8 months, it would be desperately trying to do the next right thing while all the while caving in to the constant lying of my emotions. I didn't feel capable. I didn't feel empowered. I've come to the conclusion that when the Lord wants to mature us and get us free in a specific area, He gives us LOTS of practice!
So, I've had many circumstances, especially in the area of leading worship, that have brought me to my knees. There - now the Lord had me in the posture that He could do something with. One of the phrases on my blog is "When life is more than you can stand - kneel!" My theme was now becoming "Lord, I don't know what to do but my eyes are upon You." And He's been faithful!
During a recent unpleasant circumstance, a great friend of mine said, "Karrie, you have a stronghold of insecurity." I did not! Sure, I struggled with insecurity (like everybody else) but... the Lord stopped me in my tracks. It was precisely this mindset that kept me in bondage. Beliefs such as I struggle with insecurity sounded harmless. Who doesn't? The truth was that I did, in fact, have a stronghold of insecurity and it had a strong hold on me. That's dangerous and it requires immediate attention! You know what else? I think I believed that confidence = pride (therefore, bad) and I shudder to even suggest it... that insecurity = humility. How grossly wrong! That was last week.
I confessed this sin to the Lord and to my trusted prayer partners. No sooner did I do that than one of my friends was ordering a book for herself online and a pop-up recommended Beth's new book. My friend thought I would be interested. I was and ordered the book.
I caught myself asking the Lord, "could I really be free from insecurity?" Good grief! I didn't know that I had unbelief intertwined in there. I repented of that too and the anticipation and excitement that began growing in me was palpable.
I found that the old hymn "Victory in Jesus" was on auto-repeat in my mind. So much so that I felt led to sing a real rockin' version of it (as done by Travis Cottrell) at church this Sunday. I wanted to let the worship team hear it ahead of time. I knew that they could listen to it online through the Living Proof Ministries blog so I headed there to get the link. What was the latest blog entry? They were looking for "sisters" who were ready to be free from insecurity and willing to sign the roll call to get free together. It started that day and I wanted to say "I'm in" but I didn't have the book yet. I'm a rule follower so you don't start doing something until you have all of the tools. That's when my friend walked into my office with my brand new book in hand. Thank You, Jesus!
So here are some of the things that really struck me as I set out to complete the first assignment:
We were to write a letter to the Lord in the front of the book. Sort of a starting point for this journey. I wrote similiar things to what I've already told you about my fears about the real me... until I heard Him whisper to my heart "you fear that the real you is not enough for Me to love." He was right. No wonder God felt the need to say in His Word, "be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) or as the New American Standard translation puts it "cease striving and know I am God." Who was I fooling? God says that "while we were yet sinners Christ died for us." His love for me is not contingent on what I do. I can not earn His love. He freely gives it. I've known this with my head for years - I just didn't know that I wasn't embracing it with my heart.
"My entire life story grows like a wild shoot from the thorny soil of insecurity. Every fear I've faced, every addiction I've nursed, every disastrous relationship and idiotic decision I've made has wormed its way out of that sorrowfully fertile ground. Through the power and grace of God, I've dealt with so many side effects of it, but oddly, until now, I've somehow overlooked its primary source." (Beth Moore, So Long, Insecurity, pg. xi) No wonder I've gone through seasons of being free from food related strongholds for seasons only to find myself back in the grip of them. Food is only a coping mechanism that I have for medicating the pain of insecurity. (I see more freedom on the horizon - yippee!)
"Insecurity among women is epidemic, but it is not incurable. Don't expect it to go away quietly, however. We're going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us." (ibid, pg. xiii)
"Are we honestly going to insist on drawing our security from people - men or women - who ave oblivious to the inordinate amount of weight we give to their estimation of us?" (ibid, pg. 9)
"I want some soul-deep security drawn from a source that never runs dry and never disparages us for requiring it." (ibid, pg. 10)
"My head knows good and well that this doesn't define me. Why can't I get that message to my heart? Listen carefully: the enemy of our souls has more to gain by our setbacks than by our succumbing to an initial assault. The former is infinitely more demoralizing. Far more liable to make us feel hopeless and tempt us to quit." (ibid, pg. 11) Like my struggle with food. Oh, can you see how the Lord brought me to this point?!
"Setbacks just make us feel weak and stupid: I should have conquered this by now... Somehow I convince myself that if I could just develop a healthy enough psyche, life couldn't touch me. I'd be completely immovable... I'm forever wanting to go someplace with God. I forget that in order to really want to GO, something has to happen to make me want to leave where I am. Maybe we're all just sick to death of taking three steps forward and two steps back. Call me a math wizard, but isn't that still one step forward? ... And if we don't lose that ground, aren't we on our way somewhere new? Willing to take three more steps - even if we lose two?" (ibid, pg. 12-13)
And finally...
"Thank God, a time comes in a willing life when you're ready to face a Goliath-sized foe all by itself and fight it to the stinking death." AMEN! (ibid, pg. 14)
I have struggled with certain fears for as long as I can remember. Last year at this time, I thought my most prominent fear was the fear of failure but during a worship service, while in the middle of lifting praises to God, the Lord pulled back the veil and showed me that this was just a side-effect of my deepest fear... That the real me wasn't enough! I was dreadfully afraid that the real me wasn't enough to lead a congregation of God's people in worship... that the real me wasn't enough to hold my husband's passion... that the real me wasn't enough to raise godly children... And so, I found myself exhausted from all of the running around trying to be "super me" and live up to the unattainable expectation I had placed on myself - perfection! After all, there was nothing more that could be done beyond perfection. Wheww! No wonder I feared failure. It happened all of the time!
If I could categorize this last 8 months, it would be desperately trying to do the next right thing while all the while caving in to the constant lying of my emotions. I didn't feel capable. I didn't feel empowered. I've come to the conclusion that when the Lord wants to mature us and get us free in a specific area, He gives us LOTS of practice!
So, I've had many circumstances, especially in the area of leading worship, that have brought me to my knees. There - now the Lord had me in the posture that He could do something with. One of the phrases on my blog is "When life is more than you can stand - kneel!" My theme was now becoming "Lord, I don't know what to do but my eyes are upon You." And He's been faithful!
During a recent unpleasant circumstance, a great friend of mine said, "Karrie, you have a stronghold of insecurity." I did not! Sure, I struggled with insecurity (like everybody else) but... the Lord stopped me in my tracks. It was precisely this mindset that kept me in bondage. Beliefs such as I struggle with insecurity sounded harmless. Who doesn't? The truth was that I did, in fact, have a stronghold of insecurity and it had a strong hold on me. That's dangerous and it requires immediate attention! You know what else? I think I believed that confidence = pride (therefore, bad) and I shudder to even suggest it... that insecurity = humility. How grossly wrong! That was last week.
I confessed this sin to the Lord and to my trusted prayer partners. No sooner did I do that than one of my friends was ordering a book for herself online and a pop-up recommended Beth's new book. My friend thought I would be interested. I was and ordered the book.
I caught myself asking the Lord, "could I really be free from insecurity?" Good grief! I didn't know that I had unbelief intertwined in there. I repented of that too and the anticipation and excitement that began growing in me was palpable.
I found that the old hymn "Victory in Jesus" was on auto-repeat in my mind. So much so that I felt led to sing a real rockin' version of it (as done by Travis Cottrell) at church this Sunday. I wanted to let the worship team hear it ahead of time. I knew that they could listen to it online through the Living Proof Ministries blog so I headed there to get the link. What was the latest blog entry? They were looking for "sisters" who were ready to be free from insecurity and willing to sign the roll call to get free together. It started that day and I wanted to say "I'm in" but I didn't have the book yet. I'm a rule follower so you don't start doing something until you have all of the tools. That's when my friend walked into my office with my brand new book in hand. Thank You, Jesus!
So here are some of the things that really struck me as I set out to complete the first assignment:
We were to write a letter to the Lord in the front of the book. Sort of a starting point for this journey. I wrote similiar things to what I've already told you about my fears about the real me... until I heard Him whisper to my heart "you fear that the real you is not enough for Me to love." He was right. No wonder God felt the need to say in His Word, "be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) or as the New American Standard translation puts it "cease striving and know I am God." Who was I fooling? God says that "while we were yet sinners Christ died for us." His love for me is not contingent on what I do. I can not earn His love. He freely gives it. I've known this with my head for years - I just didn't know that I wasn't embracing it with my heart.
"My entire life story grows like a wild shoot from the thorny soil of insecurity. Every fear I've faced, every addiction I've nursed, every disastrous relationship and idiotic decision I've made has wormed its way out of that sorrowfully fertile ground. Through the power and grace of God, I've dealt with so many side effects of it, but oddly, until now, I've somehow overlooked its primary source." (Beth Moore, So Long, Insecurity, pg. xi) No wonder I've gone through seasons of being free from food related strongholds for seasons only to find myself back in the grip of them. Food is only a coping mechanism that I have for medicating the pain of insecurity. (I see more freedom on the horizon - yippee!)
"Insecurity among women is epidemic, but it is not incurable. Don't expect it to go away quietly, however. We're going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us." (ibid, pg. xiii)
"Are we honestly going to insist on drawing our security from people - men or women - who ave oblivious to the inordinate amount of weight we give to their estimation of us?" (ibid, pg. 9)
"I want some soul-deep security drawn from a source that never runs dry and never disparages us for requiring it." (ibid, pg. 10)
"My head knows good and well that this doesn't define me. Why can't I get that message to my heart? Listen carefully: the enemy of our souls has more to gain by our setbacks than by our succumbing to an initial assault. The former is infinitely more demoralizing. Far more liable to make us feel hopeless and tempt us to quit." (ibid, pg. 11) Like my struggle with food. Oh, can you see how the Lord brought me to this point?!
"Setbacks just make us feel weak and stupid: I should have conquered this by now... Somehow I convince myself that if I could just develop a healthy enough psyche, life couldn't touch me. I'd be completely immovable... I'm forever wanting to go someplace with God. I forget that in order to really want to GO, something has to happen to make me want to leave where I am. Maybe we're all just sick to death of taking three steps forward and two steps back. Call me a math wizard, but isn't that still one step forward? ... And if we don't lose that ground, aren't we on our way somewhere new? Willing to take three more steps - even if we lose two?" (ibid, pg. 12-13)
And finally...
"Thank God, a time comes in a willing life when you're ready to face a Goliath-sized foe all by itself and fight it to the stinking death." AMEN! (ibid, pg. 14)
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