Actually, this particular line of thought has been brewing for awhile but I've remained in the dark. Allow me to explain...
This much I had come to realize over the past year:
- I have a fear of failure.
- I fear that the REAL me is not enough - enough to be a worship leader, enough to hold my husband's passion, enough to raise godly children.
- I have a stronghold of insecurity (and it has a stronghold of me)
- I often wake in the morning feeling defeated because of the sins of yesterday.
Isaiah 43:18-19 Do not earnestly remember the former things...like the sins and failures of yesterday...behold, He is doing a new thing! It's a new day and He's not limited by my yesterday.
Like Lazerus, I was dead, but now He's calling me to life and I need to take off the old grave clothes (the shame and condemnation of yesterday) and lay them at His feet. They are a filthy reminder of the former things.
Isaiah 43:25 I, even I, am He who blots our and cancels your transgressions...even my willful sins...for My own sake... so don't worry about deserving it, Karrie... and I will not remember [mark for recognition, recount, call to remembrance] your sins. Wheww!! Awesome!
So, if God is willing and ready to forgive me and blot out all record of my transgressions, why aren't I?
Psalm 40:6 Sacrifices and offerings are not what please you; gifts and payent for sin are not what you demand... so may I not spend today trying to "make up for" yesterday before the Lord. That sort of thinking keeps me looking at the former things. It also keeps me trapped in "works" - trying to earn off yesterday instead of by "grace" alone... But You made me willing to listen and obey. And so, I said, "I am here to do what is written about me in the book, where it says, 'I enjoy pleasing you. Your Law is in my heart.'" He is the One who brought me to this revelation this morning. May I start fresh - forgiving myself for what He has forgiven - and say instead "I'm here to do what is written about me in the book! May I enjoy pleasing You this day!" This train of thought keeps me looking forward.
Psalm 40:11 You, LORD, never fail to have pity on me... WHEN I fail today - even willfully - He never fails to have pity on me... Your love and faithfulness ALWAYS KEEP ME SECURE! (emphasis mine) Well, praise the Lord! This revelation is a giant leap on the way to freedom from insecurity!
The real difference with this right thinking (Truth) is that it makes it so that I begin this day from a position of victory. The enemy tried his best on me yet I stand here FORGIVEN! The devil might have tempted me and I might have followed but he only won a skirmish - Christ won the war! And though I may lose to his temptations at times today, I am still victorious because I will get up in faith and try again. God gives me that privilege. May I cease to let the enemy rob me of the forgiveness that is freely offered me and the resulting position of victory. Praise You, O God!
Psalm 18:3-4 I will call upon the Lord, who is to be praised; so shall I be saved from my enemies. the cords of death surrounded me, and the streams of ungodliness and the torrents of ruin terrified me... Lord, I was so afraid to make a mistake - afraid to fail... ruin terrified me! But God - You have rescued me!
1 Peter 2:24 He personally bore our sins in His own body on the tree... that we might die (cease to exist) to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed...I can cease to exist to sin - looking back - living in the shame of past defeat and LIVE to righteousness - from the place of grace, forgiveness and victory!
For He has not given me a spirit of fear or timidity but of power, love and self-discipline! 2 Timothy 1:7. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Philippians 4:19.
I'll shout it from the mountain tops and sing a new song! It's awesome to be free!