I was reminded this morning about the incredible responsibility that we have as wives. When I truly walk as a godly woman, I can be an unbelievable blessing to my husband but when even the best of intentions are misguided, I can become a source of unspeakable pain to the one that I have sworn to love. As much as I hate to admit it, this is a lesson that I have learned by experience. Not that I always get it right now, but praise the Lord He's teaching me!
Proverbs 12:4 says, "A virtuous and worthy wife is a crowning joy to her husband but she who makes him ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."
The Hebrew word that is translated here as virtuous and worthy is Strong's 2428 chayil. It was often used as a war term. It refers to a force of means or other resources, strength or power applied. In all three cases where it is applied to wives (Ruth 3:11, Proverbs 12:4 & Proverbs 31:10) it is a force applied for good. It comes from the Hebrew root word chuwl (Strong's 2342) which means to dance OR writhe in pain, to bring forth or to fall grieviously.
Oh women! We have such HUGE responsibility in our marriages! We can cause our husbands to dance with joy or wound them painfully! A noble wife goes to war for her husband - not against him. I am so grateful for the prophet that the Lord sent to rebuke me. I didn't know! Young wives and mothers, let me share some of the lessons that I have learned so that you don't have to learn them the hard way!
Read, re-read then read again the words of 1 Peter 2:18 - 1 Peter 3:9. Take it from the Amplified Bible which puts "teeth" to the instructions to us. Like it or not, we, as housewives, are household servants! Submission - God's way - is not the end of ourselves but the key to such freedom in our marriages!
As we wives start to walk closer with the Lord, the temptation is so prevalent to preach at our husbands and tell them how to do it. They rebel, we get frustrated, discouraged and complain. How miserable we can become. Rather, we need to be their number one cheerleader! Cheer them on! Proverbs 16:24 says that "pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones." Thank and acknowledge them for the good things they are doing and allow the Holy Spirit to convict them of the things that need to be transformed. I can't tell you the benefits that I can personally testify to from such a little change! Try it!
Camp out in 1 Corinthians 13. You may be amazed by the record of wrongs that you've kept in your mind. Forgive them as you want to be forgiven. Start praying that the Lord would enable you to love according to His prescription. What He asks of you He will enable you to do when we die to self and live by His Spirit.
Start a record of "rights". Somedays it may be hard to see them so keep a record of things that he's doing well. Remind yourself of things that attracted you to him in the first place. Share your list with a good friend who can help you to remember when you're tempted to be discouraged. Remember that our friends hurt when we hurt and they often tend to commiserate with us rather than point out the positives. You need to tell them to help you dwell on your husbands good qualities.
Moms, are we serving our children and trying to change our husbands? That's wrong! Let's serve our husbands and train our children. It's Biblical. It's God's way and He blesses each feeble step we take in that direction.
Follow the command in Nehemiah 4:14 and remember the Lord who is great and fight for your husbands and home and your children. Fight for them on your knees! There's no more powerful position. Remember the Lord is the One who is able to do exceedingly abundantly - more than you could dare to ask or even imagine! That's your Commander and Chief.
Please don't allow the enemy to discourage you from this. Don't try once and give up. Proverbs 18:19 says, A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle.
Why am I so passionate about this? Because I am living a miracle! I had given up but God hadn't! I thought that fighting and dissension was what I would survive the rest of my life. When I thought that I couldn't stay for another day, God asked, "can you stay for today?" And He began giving my husband a new wife - and it was me! And you know what? I have a wonderful husband! I love him dearly! He's my friend. I love to spend time with him. I enjoy his company. And tucked away in my drawer is a reminder of where we've come from. A tear stained piece of paper on which I wrote the Word of God in 1 Peter 2:18-3:9 so that I could pray them though I didn't believe them possible. Friend, God's Word is Truth! Let Him show it to you.
O Abba, You are the Almighty God! You are the Creator of all things - even amazing love from cold embers. Ignite belief in the hearts of those that need it. May they remember Your greatness Lord and trust what You are capable of and longing to do for and in them and fight for their husbands and their homes and their families. Grant them spoils of battle to leave as an inheritance for their children. In the precious Name of Jesus... so be it!