Saturday, March 22, 2008

Loved by My Beloved

I wasn't sure that I was going to share this entry on the blog... it's more like a journal entry. What the Lord showed me yesterday was intensely personal and yet not for me alone. The same sentiments of love that He expressed over me are His Words to you. The following is simply the dialogue between the Lord and I yesterday - Good Friday - as we considered "Day 80 - Please, Father" in Beth Moore's book "Jesus, 90 Days with the One and Only"...

"Karrie, settle in with Me. Just as you love to testify to My Father's greatness, so do I!"

We read Mark 14:32-42. I encourage you to take a few moments now to read these verses before you continue. Some quotes from Beth...

"Never minimize the moment by thinking God couldn't have removed the cup. Do not subtract God's freedom of choice from this picture. God could have chosen to reject the way of the cross. After all, He is the Sovereign of the universe."

"That God could have stopped the process yet didn't is a matchless demonstration of love. Can you think of anyone for whom you'd watch your only child be tortured to death?"

(No, Father.)

"Luke's Gospel tells us His sweat dropped like blood, a condition almost unheard of except when the physical body is placed in more stress and grief than it was fashioned to handle. Do we think God sat upon His throne unmoved?"

"Like a body that rejects a transplanted organ, the human body of Jesus Christ was practically tearing itself apart. The full throttle of divine impact and emotion was almost more than one human body could endure. The stress had nearly turned Him inside out. I do not make this point to emphasize His weakness. Quite the contrary. In fact I find the scene recorded in John 18:6 portrays His incredible power. When Jesus told the crowd, 'I am He,' even overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death, the proclaimed presence of Jesus Christ knocked the mob to the ground."

"Your God-ness could not be diminished for a moment, in or out of that prison of flesh. Lord, don't let us forget You, who submitted Yourself to the hands of sinful men, were very God."

(Lord, I am so selfish, so hard-hearted. If left unchecked, by You, I would attempt to reduce the God of the universe to a mere equation based on the variable of me... I'm either obeying badly - because I don't want to obey enough or because I've been so disobedient that I'm in bondage - so You couldn't possibly love, bless, touch me... or I've been 'better', drenched in legalism, so maybe now I'm deserving of Your love, blessing, rescue, the knowing of You... Lord, when I reduce You to being reactive to me, I attempt to remove Your deity! Oh praise You that that's impossible! Lord, please forgive me. You knew me in light of this and such great despair wrestled with such great love that You sweat drops of blood. When Your Daddy, Who also loves me, said 'I choose not to remove this cup.' You wouldn't allow me to stand condemned and You replied, 'I am He.' Lord, according to Your Word, that's Who I want for my Bridegroom.")

"And Karrie, you're who I want for my bride!"

Overwhelmed to tears...

(Lord, may I walk in the deep, personal, intimate relationship with You - Who sacrificed it all - to declare me Your choice as "Bride". I accept! May I learn how to live this marriage out with You, my Beloved! Please teach me, show me, guide me, teach me. May my gift of obedience to You be just an expression of my love for You!! May I give - devote - my life's energy to walking where You walk and to pleasing You. Your love for me ALWAYS guards and protects, nourishes and nurtures, extends to and blesses me! Your favor rests on me for I am Your beloved!)

I had been anxious about singing at the Good Friday service. The song that I was singing hadn't been my first choice - but it was His! It's called "At the Cross" by Hillsong and some of the lyrics are "Oh Lord, You've searched me. You know my ways. Even when I fail You, I know You love me..." As I was saying, "I'll let them hear our love song..." the Lord corrected me saying, "No, I let them hear Our love song for I've placed you there to sing."

I began to get ready to leave. The Lord and I continued our dialogue. I was asking Him for opportunity to write/testify to the Father's greatness through Christ. I wondered back to the way our conversation began that morning. The Lord interrupted my thoughts...

"I testified to My Father's goodness when I spoke of Him not exercising His freewill to remove this cup. You were worth it, Karrie!"

I have never felt more loved...

Good Friday will never look the same. I will never be the same. What about you?

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