Road Signs and Guideposts - part 1

Set up road signs; put up guideposts.  Mark well the path by which you came...

Jeremiah 31:21 (NLT)

I seem to get detoured a lot on my journey with the Lord.  Easily distracted...  A short attention span...  I am so grateful that the Lord does not find it irksome to keep teaching me, often the same things, over and over again (see Philippians 3:1).  Seeing as we're told to set up road signs and mark well the path that we've travelled by, it seemed fitting to set up these guideposts in a place where you might find them helpful to you as you journey.

I didn't walk in victory much yesterday.  Instead, I was distracted by worrying about things beyond my control - about "what if's" that may never come to be.  I gave in to the shifting sands of emotions like dismay and discouragement rather than building my "house" on the solid rock of God's Word (see Matthew 7:24-29).  I woke later than I intended this morning.  I was tired and chose to roll over a time or two.  The whole truth is that my heart condemned me and hid myself like Adam and Eve when God came to visit with me (see Genesis 3).  It's a long road that I'm marking this morning, but if you ever struggle with condemnation, I invite you to grab your Bible and follow these signs...

By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. 1 John 3:19-20 (ESV)

For the sake of your name, O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great. Psalm 25:11 (NIV)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  1 John 1:9 (ESV)

I heard the whisper, "you'll never get this right.  You'll fall again."  I hate that I give the accuser of the brethren so much ammunition, but why am I giving him an audience?  According to Zechariah 3 God doesn't!

I was given another vision. This time Joshua the high priest was standing in front of the LORD's angel. And there was Satan, standing at Joshua's right side, ready to accuse him. But the LORD said, "Satan, you are wrong. Jerusalem is my chosen city, and this man was rescued like a stick from a flaming fire."  Zechariah 3:1-2

LORD, You've plucked me from the fire and I belong to You!  My righteousness is like filthy rags (see Isaiah 64:6) but You have clothed me in Your righteousness and You tell me that that is something to "behold".

Now Joshua was standing before the angel, clothed with filthy garments. And the angel said to those who were standing before him, "Remove the filthy garments from him." And to him he said, "Behold, I have taken your iniquity away from you, and I will clothe you with pure vestments." And I said, "Let them put a clean turban on his head." So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him with garments.  Zechariah 3:3-5 (ESV)

let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.  Hebrews 10:22

LORD, I am not what I'd like to be for You, but You think I'm lovely!  (see Song of Songs 1:5-6, 8)


My beloved speaks and says to me: "Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away..." Song of Songs 2:10
 
LORD, Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.  Psalm 90:14 (ESV)

LORD, You have proclaimed freedom for me this morning.  You have removed from me a spirit of despair and replaced it with gladness!  The very things promised to us because of Jesus!  Blessed be Your Name, O LORD!  (see Isaiah 61:1-3)

(watch for part 2 to show us what we can do as a result)

Let's Talk

The Lord woke me early yesterday morning.  He woke me from a dream where I had been yelling and swearing.  Another dream troubled me.  I didn't like how I had acted in them and I awoke feeling condemned and ashamed.  Was this what was in my heart?  I debated going back to sleep but instead chose to come and sit with the Lord.  He was wooing me.  I made my way to Our spot.  From my chair I could see my son sleeping.  I watched him sleep and I found myself praying, "LORD, protect him!"  Then I thought of Kayleigh (my cousin's child who was tragically killed in an accident less than a week ago).  Surely her mom and dad had often prayed for her safety yet they are burying her this week...

"So, why pray, LORD?  Why bother?"  (I'm not even sure I should open my mouth like that.)

"I'd kind of like to sit down with You and talk this through!"  (Like what are You doing?!  Demanding answers from the Most High.  Surely that isn't an acceptable tone!)

I remind myself that we live in a sinful, dying world.  What would make me think that I have earned the right to be immune?  I remind myself not to lean on my own understanding.

"Your ways are not my ways..."

I take my seat and start voicing thanks - an acceptable choice - unsure of where our conversation will go but no longer demanding the direction.  I think of the approaching day.  So much to do.  The LORD reminds me of another mother, ten or so years ago, who He woke early on just such a day.  The LORD loved her so much that He wanted to spend time with her to prepare her for the day ahead - Thanksgiving 2001... The tape of the story plays through in my mind.  He wanted to love on Carole (http://www.faithfulreader.com/authors/au-lewis-carole.asp) and give her an anchor for the day ahead - the day she would lose her daughter Shari in a car accident.  Then it hits me!  Lose her daughter...

"LORD, I am here - literally in this Our spot because Carole lost Shari."  (That was the part of Carole's story that proved in my mind that this lady's relationship with the LORD was "real".)

"LORD, that's what I wanted and I am forever changed!  I know there are others - many others - whose lives are forever transformed by the message You delivered through the woman Carole came to be through this tragic loss.  Is that an acceptable trade off?  My good from her pain?"

I doubt it.  For a mother whose arms ache to hold a lost child, it's an insufficient substitute but it is a glimpse of God's redeeming power - His committment to work all things together for good...

I have no answers to the questions I would have demanded from the Most High.  But, I have reassurance that He is in control.  I have no idea what good could ever be worked from such a tragedy as what my cousins are facing but I do know there are ripples in the water and they carry a long way - even when they're no longer perceptible on the surface.

I return to the question that started it all.  Why pray?  Why bother?  Because somehow, in the dialogue, perspectives change.  I change.  And I return to prayer for my son - not completely without fear - but entrusting my son to the Hands of the One Who gave His life for me...

What Was I Thinking?

Who may climb the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in His holy place?

Only those whose hands and hearts are pure, who do not worship idols and never tell lies.

They will receive the Lord’s blessing and have a right relationship with God their Savior.

Such people may seek you and worship in your presence, O God of Jacob. Psalm 24:3-6

I'm not sure how to distill the vast wealth of treasures in this verse down to coherent thought, but as I read these verses this morning, it struck me that this is a summary of what the Lord has been teaching me through His Word thus far in 2011.

I've come to the conclusion that the one that we tell the most lies to is ourself.  I am quite good at it.  I tell myself things like "I'll never get it right," "I can't do it," "it's too hard," "The Lord is disappointed with you..." and these things tempt me to fear other falsehoods like "if you keep messing this up, God is going to give up on you. He can't forgive you endlessly."  When these are the thoughts that my mind is dwelling on, my emotions spiral out of control.  They start to lead me and I run to idols (for me, food) for comfort, I waffle in unbelief and my prayer life loses it's power.  I become a wounded warrior and I cower in the dark.  It's not a good place to be and having tasted the difference between darkness and light, I praise God that He lovingingly calls me forth out of darkness.

Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think upon these things."

The Greek word translated "think" here is logizomai.  It's an accounting term that tells us to take an inventory, reason, reckon, think on.  It's the same word as Paul uses in Romans 4 when he tells us that Abraham believed the Lord and it was "credited" to him as righteousness.  So, we are instructed to take an inventory of our thoughts.  What am I counting up in my head?  What am I accruing as who I am and what I can or can't do?

God wants us to dwell on what is "true".  Psalm 25:4-5 reads, "Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." What I can consider truth is greatly effected by my emotions but the truth of God's Word is unchanging.  "LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless" (not perfect, but as much as it depends on me, there is nothing between me and God or man that I have not tried to make right) "and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart."

Do you want to receive blessing from the Lord?  Do you want to have a right relationship with God our Savior?  Read His Word.  Hide it in your heart.  Find out what is really true about Who He is, who you are and what He can do in and through you.  Take an inventory of your thoughts.  How do they measure up with the truth of God's Word?  Have you become good at telling yourself lies?  Let's allow the Lord to begin changing that - beginning today.

Wooing the Wild

The Lord is showing me so much about His incredible love for us through the three horses that are on the farm we are purchasing!  We are making nearly daily trips out to what will soon be our "home".  What draws us?  Well, in addition to the absolutely beautiful frost on the trees, the wide open spaces, the millions of stars piercing the black, night sky... we are drawn to the pasture that is home to "Angel", "Sunshine" and "Sarah".  Angel is somewhere around 15 years old while her 2 colts are around 6 and 7.  They have only ever been halter-broke.  Due to circumstances beyond his control, the owner hasn't spent any time with them the past number of years and they have grown somewhat "wild".  But we love them.
 
I can't explain why.  We just do.  And so, over the past number of weeks, we have begun "wooing" them.  It's been our delight!  We take them their favorite treats and introduce them to new ones.  We keep them well-fed and after the events of "By Bit or Bridle" (http://spaciousplace-karrie.blogspot.com/2010/12/by-bit-or-bridle.html), we have made a path through the deep snow for them that leads right up to our barn.  Though they don't understand all that we say, we just keep talking to them because they are learning to recognize our voices.  I think they're even starting to recognize their names!

When we first started visiting them, we'd have to search the pasture to find them.  They'd approach us cautiously and sniff the treats we offered before they chose to sample them.  My husband even tied on snow shoes and coaxed them to the barn the first time - bribing them with carrots all the way!  But now, they are beginning to stay closer to home.  When we approach the lane, we roll down the window and call their names.  They gallop to the place where we'll meet to feed them.  Much to our delight, they are learning to trust us!

We've started brushing them and they seem to like our grooming touch.  Sarah absolutely loves to be scratched behind her ears and Sunshine requires the odd scolding when she doesn't share the food.  Though sometimes they back away when we take a hold of them by their halters, they are pretty lame attempts at resistance.  We are wooing the wild.

How much more does our Heavenly Father woo us?!  He is persistant in His kindnesses to me.  He keeps coming to meet me with His hands full of provisions.  When I am wandering away from home, He calls my name.  He even blazes a path out to get me when the way has grown too deep.  Though I don't understand everything He is teaching me all of the time, He just keeps talking gently to me.  And I'm learning.  I'm learning to trust His touch and even His correction.  I'm learning to trust HIM. 

I think this will be the theme for 2011.  I can see, by watching the horses, that it's going to take some hard work for them to get to really know us.  But it's not drudgery to me.  It's a wonderful adventure!  And I'm sure that this year with my Lord will only be more so!  He loves me so much more than we could ever love these old horses!  He's committed to working with me, teaching me, grooming me... loving me!

"for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose." (Philippians 2:13)  "The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it." (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

And I'm so grateful!

She Knew to Kneel

Today is Jesus' birthday!  I wonder what it would have been like to have been present at His birth... What would I have done when I came face to face with the Savior in the manger?  What gift would I have laid before the King?

This Christmas the LORD gave me a tiny glimpse of the Baby in the manger through fresh eyes.  My family and I were at the church preparing the set for the Christmas Eve drama production.  A friend of my husband's came by the church to help with the construction.  His two little children came with him.  They don't attend any church, nor have the children had any spiritual upbringing but the most profound thing happened... When they entered the sanctuary, the father pointed to the nativity scene and told his tiny daughter (about 2 years old) that this was Baby Jesus lying in the manger.  "Sissy" quietly approached the manger and without a word, she knelt down on her knees and silently peered at the doll that represented Jesus.  She didn't reach out for him or remove him from the manger.  Instead, she gently folder her hands and gazed in wonder! 

How awesome!  I was speechless.  How did this little one know that there was something special about this baby in the manger?  How did she know to bend the knee?  What filled her with awe?

Jesus did.  Somehow, I think that these tiny children - so freshly knit together by the LORD Himself... so untainted by the fallen world - remember something that we all too often forget... that the Baby laid in a manger was God Himself.  He was and is the King of kings and the Lord of lords and there is no more appropriate response than to reverently approach Him, bow our knees and adore Him.  May I do precisely that today - and always!

But Jesus asked the children to come to him. "Let the little children come to me," he said. "Don't keep them away. God's kingdom belongs to people like them. What I'm about to tell you is true. Anyone who will not receive God's kingdom like a little child will never enter it."  (Luke 18:16-17)

Father, help me to have eyes like this child.  Help me not to forget the wonder of the Baby's birth - fully God yet fully man... Help me never to lose sight that Jesus came to earth for the purpose of saving me from the penalty of my sin.  May I too reverently and humbly bow before You.  May I be full of awe and wonder and may I always affectionately express my love and gratitude for the awesome gift of salvation that You freely offered me.  Thank You for the priceless gift, Jesus!  It's perfect!

By Bit Or Bridle

We are in the process of buying a beautiful old farm just outside of the city where we live.  There's an old farm house, a huge old dairy barn, several stray farm cats and three delightful, strong-willed, unbroken horses that pasture on the land that is soon to be ours.  The horses will continue to roam the pasture land after we take possession of the farm and though they cannot be ridden, my daughter and I couldn't be happier!

Angel or "Mama", as we have affectionately named her, and her two colts have quickly become one of the highlights of our soon-to-be home and we venture out to see them often.  They are in dire need of some grooming and TLC and we are all too happy to oblige.  We have discovered that they really do love carrots and apples.  They don't mind the occasional sugar cube and we just heard that what they really find tasty are bagels!  We start out towards them and these beautiful, raggedy, old horses come running to us when we call their names.

Recently, my daughter and I ventured out to find the horses with our arms laden with their favorite treats.  We ended up walking nearly a quarter mile out into the pasture through snow that reached past my knees.  It was hard trudging but once we reached the hill overlooking a ravine, the horses spotted us and came running.  They reached the edge of the ravine and somehow decided that this particular part of the trek was too deep with snow.  They stepped back.  We called their names.  They tried once more but again decided the way was too much work.  After looking at us for a few more seconds, they went off another direction - the path of least resistance!

Immediately, a verse that I had memorized a few years ago jumped into my mind!  This time, it held fresh, poignant new meaning...

Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. (Psalm 32:9)

Didn't they understand that we had their favorite (and nutritious) treats to satisfy their hunger?  Didn't they pause to remember how much they like to be stroked and talked with?  How much am I just like them?  God holds exactly what I need in His hand.  He loves me - even though I require some grooming and have nothing to offer Him.  He loves to be with me and He comes out to meet me, calling my name.  How many times do I look at the place He is calling me to and wade a step or two in His direction only to decide that the path is too difficult?  Why do I not remember - truly understand - that He holds precisely what I need?  Not only does He hold nourishment but I enjoy being with Him... So why do I all too often resort to the path of least resistance?  What about you?

Father, I confess that I am often just like these horses.  My actions beg to be controlled by bit and bridle when You offer me freedom and the drawing of Your love.  Please help me to remember - to truly understand that Your way is for my best.  Help me not to resort to the path of least resistance and miss out on all of the wonderful blessings and provisions that You hold in Your hands for me.  I really do love You, Lord.  Keep calling my name.  I want to learn to listen...

Remembering...

My Poppa - A Canadian soldier and his beautiful bride to be!

I almost didn't go this morning - to the Remembrance Day service.  I woke exhausted.  Numerous busy weeks have blurred together and I just wanted to stay at home.  I didn't feel like feeling sad... Can you believe it?  I'm ashamed to admit it, but it's true.

I'm not sure exactly what it was that changed my mind... perhaps the fact that both my children wanted to go... perhaps the sight of my grandmother, a veteran herself, donning a poppy and remembering the handsome young soldier who promised to love her forever more than a half century ago... I still can't say , but I'm grateful that something triggered in me to look beyond myself and see the importance of standing with others to say "I remember."

I watched through tears as the soldiers marched into the arena and took their place.  So handsome in their uniforms.  So disciplined in their stance.  As the crowd took their seats, these soldiers continued to stand.  While a myriad of wreaths were placed, hymns were sung, speeches were made, there wasn't even so much as a shifting of weight in their ranks.  Even in this, the soldiers were giving of themselves so that we could pause and remember.

We sang "O Canada".  I wept over the melodic prayer "God, keep our land..."  These men were willing to die for me to have the religious freedom to sing those words!  My mind wandered to my friend Shannon whose husband Rob spent 18 months away from his wife and tiny son in order to protect our rights and the rights of thousands like us in Afghanistan.  What a sacrifice this man made!  I watched and observed the cost to his young family.  Praise the Lord that he returned home safe!  Notice I said "safe" and not "untouched."  I thought about a young man named Jordan who survived his injuries thanks to the Hand of the Great Physician.  I can't even imagine the call that his beautiful young bride received.  How can we possibly express sufficient gratitude to these men or the families of the 116,000 that have said a final goodbye to their beloved soldier?  It's impossible... but oh, I'd like to try!

My eyes were rivoted to the young man who, no doubt, has carried a pack for miles on end, and yet so comfortably swung a diaper bag over his shoulder.  Another young man used to displaying discipline to the enth degree tenderly correcting a toddler carelessly dropping a toy... I couldn't help smiling as the roar of wrestless little ones got louder and louder.  It was the sound of life - the reward of hard-fought battles...

Men and women, real flesh and blood, with families just like yours and mine, willing to lay it all on the line to protect what they love and believe in... I am in awe of you.  From weathermen to artillery soldiers, helicopter pilots to chaplains, privates to brigadere generals, I salute you!

I am so grateful that I went this morning!  This year, I pray that there will be numerous opportunities for me to say thank you to these men and women for their dedication.  I plan to.  One heartfelt "thank YOU" at a time!  Won't you join me?